So here’s the thing. I’ve taken a job in the middle east. I start on the 19th of January. I’ll be working in digital media for a government department. Since it’s kind of a big lifestyle change, it may be a little quiet around here for the next couple of weeks. Normal (half-assed) updates should resume shortly. Thanks, please come again, etc.

For the record, One Thousand and One Nights is a collection of Middle Eastern and South Asian stories and folk tales compiled in Arabic during the Islamic Golden Age. It is often known in English as the Arabian Nights, from the first English language edition (1706).

Some bro named Frederic Bourret* took some photos of New York. We added our favourite hip hop songs about New York. Result!

*Oh, for the record, Frederic Bourret has been doing this for a minute and has released several books of photography. But that doesn’t really make for a snappy opening sentence so, you know…

I was reading an article about pinball several years ago. They were talking to a ‘pinball champion’ about his hints for amassing a high score. He said the trick was to ‘trap’ the ball on the flippers and then time strategic shots (rather than just blindly firing the ball everywhere). Also, if you have ‘multiple balls’ you should try and hold them on the flippers and only ever have one ball in play at any given time. That advice has stayed with me for life…

Tangerine Dream were a German electronic group founded in 1967. They signed to Virgin Records in the mid 70s and released a whole lot of infleuntial / abstract music. To help sell them in the west the group’s music was packaged up as film sountracks, the most famous being Risky Business.

Anyway, it’s good hangover music, and this is New Year’s day, so this online mix might help get you through. You can download it from here.

Not quite sure what the deal is with this video. I’m on holidays (read: back home) and it’s really hard to ‘fact check’ while your mother tries to explain Bold and the Beautiful plot twists to your disinterested father…

So I’m back home and staying with the family over the holidays. It’s pretty much impossible to get any work done around here and I’m starting to get the cabin fever  / lose my shit… Figured I could distract myself by going though my old magazine collection…

Actually, this all started because I’m supposed to be writing an article on pinball games, and I was trying to track down an old copy of the Beastie Boys’ Grand Royal magazine which had a 10 page feature on some pinball bro. I have an entire cupboard filled with magazines going back to the early 90s and as I kept digging for this one particular issue thing got a little out of hand.

So yeah, here’s a random selection of old magazines that I photographed (because it’s quicker / easier than scanning them).

This is just a glorified Nintendo catalogue, but it features the original Ninja Gaiden (aka Shadow Warriors) on the cover. I have lots of these old brochures from back in the day for everything from Neo Geo to PC Engine to Gameboy to whatever. Because I am a nerd :\

And speaking of nerdy isht. This is the first issue of Edge. Back in the early 90s videogame magazines were aimed at kids. This was the first magazine to treat games and the wider industry seriously. It’s still published today. The 3DO was less succesful…

Magazines that run covers this sparse rarely last more than a couple of issues.

This issue came out around 2000 and the cover feature is all about several online start-ups and the riches to be made. Within months the dot com crash hit and they were all back making coffees or whatever.

1996 was a good year for Brit pop…

Heart you, random model on the cover of Complex.

I have crazy old back issues of The Source. The magazine was incredible back in the early to mid 90s and the only way to find out about new hip hop acts on this side of the world. Then a bunch of shit went down and the entire editorial staff walked.

My favourte magazine as a kid. Mean Machines’ irreverent editorial tone is basically why I write like I do.

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Fun internet fact: Sloth videos equal web hits. Turns out we were wrong about the Otter thing. Sloths are the new owls/wolves/alpacas. We look forward to seeing some ‘three moon sloth’ t-shirt in 2012. Until then…

I was doing some search on ‘hair metal’ bands earlier today when I discovered this old documentary from 1988. It features live footage and interviews with the scene’s biggest acts (i.e. Bret Michaels talking very quickly) alongside a bunch of no-hopers who can’t even afford flyers. It’s kinda awesome, you should watch it… (the whole thing is available on YouTube).

The thing that originally got me into hip hop was its ‘fuck everybody, I’m out for me’ attitude. Unlike miscellaneous rock acts crying into their trust funds, rappers were all about making the most of a bad situation. They didn’t have time for ‘emotions’ or ‘having a sad’.

Coming from a poor immigrant background I respected that hustle. Eastern Europeans – just like rappers – don’t have much time for emotions. For the most part we consider them gross and icky. And just like rappers, we get around them by self-medicating until the feelings go away. It’s a good system, it works, and it’s kept that part of the world drunk / knee deep in blood for several centuries.*

It’s also kept hip hop entertaining and murderous for the last three decades. Or at least it did… At some point in the last five years certain rappers have decided to ‘own’ their feelings and incorporate them into their music. The results… well, let’s take a look at the results.

Bushwick Bill – When you’re a midget with a missing eye (which your girlfriend shot out) you’re probably entitled to have a dim view of life.
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DMX – Dark Man X has a long history of mental illness / drug abuse / unintelligible albums where he barks like a dog. Party (Up In Here) is actually a desperate cry for help, “Up in here! Up in here!” Sorry…
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Fat Lip – You know you’re clinically depressed when you release a single about being clinically depressed.
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ODB – you don’t get that fucked up on that regular basis unless you have serious underlying mental health issues.
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Kanye West – 808s and Heartbreak is EXACTLY why emotions are bad and should be killed with fire.
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Drake – I don’t actually think Jimmy is sad, he’s probably having the time of his life right now. But bitches be loving his ‘sensitive side’ so he’s going to continue to ham it up and be all ‘I got shot in a CANADIAN high school’ as long as people buy the records.
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Lil B – It’s not easy being a gay rapper.
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Kid Cudi – It’s not easy being a shit rapper with one half decent song to your name.
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Young Buck – Cried on the phone after 50 Cent kicked him out of G Unit.
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DOOM – Was homeless for a period of time after his bro was killed in a car accident and his group (KMD) was dropped by Electra Records. Eventually returned to hip hop wearing a facemask to disguise his butt-hurt. [Full disclosure: I am still a massive Gaylord fanboy when it comes to Zev Love X.]
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Eminem – Spent five years locked in his house taking misc pills and getting fat.
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Charles Hamilton – Got knocked out by a woman on camera and went into rehab because he was sad. His career never recovered.
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El-P – ‘I am so very angry at the world my brain is probably going to explode’.
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+ Any rapper ever who was down with Anticon, or tried to impress a girl with his ‘poetry’ and failed.

* God help Eastern Europe if those fucks ever sober up…

Guitar Wolf were in Australia this week for a national tour. Aside from their advertised gigs, they played a very intimate, last minute show at Pony to 100 people. It was as awesome / stupid / loud as ever. Turns out they’re still the greatest band in the universe…

Meet a Guitar Wolf on the street corner

Lining up for tickets like suckers

Comically surly door bitch

Bad Gig Photos R Us

See caption above…